I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
