hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
