she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
