i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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