I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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