Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
