Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
