Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
