that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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