fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
