let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
