last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
