***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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