i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I still have a little drunk in my system
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
