yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
