Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
