Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
and she was petting her beer can
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
