just survived the first fart of the relationship.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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