summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I didn't notice because vodka
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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