she was so not down for the gang bang
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
