he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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