Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
they need to just BURY HIM!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
