I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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