Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
