I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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