is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
