How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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