so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
