Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My ass is underappreciated
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
