billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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