Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
