There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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