The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
