so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
