After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
