Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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