I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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