dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
