White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
