Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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