just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
