I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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