Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
