Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
