also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
