I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
