I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
