all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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