what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
