We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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