Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
