So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
